Facing Your Dark Side Amidst Change For Growth
Written by Michelle Ong | November 17, 2025
Change exposes the parts of ourselves we try hardest to hide—but that’s where real growth begins.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” — Carl Jung
Change is uncomfortable. It shakes up what we know, challenges our sense of control, and forces us to face parts of ourselves we’d rather pretend don’t exist.
Some people glide through transitions effortlessly.
Others (like many of us) tense up, resist, self-sabotage, or spiral into old emotional patterns.
The difference often comes down to this:
Have you faced your inner struggles, or are they quietly running the show?
This is where shadow work comes in.
What Shadow Work Means (In Normal-People Terms)
You know those moments when you react way too strongly to something?
Or when an old fear pops up out of nowhere?
Or when change makes you feel shaky even though you’ve “done everything right”?
That’s your shadow—the emotional leftovers you tried to bury: fears, insecurities, regrets, and old stories you still believe about yourself.
Shadow work isn’t woo-woo. It’s simply about turning around, looking at those hidden parts, and saying:
“Okay. I see you. Let’s figure this out.”
Instead of letting your subconscious run your life like fate (as Jung puts it), you make it conscious.
And that is how you regain control.
In a life lived by your rules, your inner world needs to be aligned with the outer one you’re trying to create.
💡Check out this post for helpful strategies on emotional regulation.
Why Shadow Work Matters, Especially During Change
“When we deny the story, it defines us. When we own the story, we can write a brave new ending.” — Brené Brown
Change doesn’t just disrupt your environment—it exposes your emotional wiring.
A new job, ending a relationship, starting something scary, losing something familiar… it all brings your “stuff” to the surface.
If you’ve never looked at that stuff, change feels threatening.
If you have, change feels manageable—even empowering.
Shadow work helps you:
– Break free from fear
Once you understand why a change scares you, it stops having such a strong grip.
– Let go of old identities
So many people stay stuck because they’re afraid of who they’ll be without their old roles or labels.
– Build emotional resilience
You stop reacting out of panic and start responding with clarity.
– Trust yourself again
When you’ve met your shadow, you’re no longer surprised by your triggers.
You know what’s yours—and what isn’t.
This is how you stop being controlled by your past and start living by your rules, not inherited ones.
💡Read insights from my life challenges here.
How to Start Shadow Work (Gently)
Most of us suppress uncomfortable emotions.
But they don’t disappear—they leak out as overthinking, defensiveness, procrastination, jealousy, anger, people-pleasing… you name it.
Shadow work simply means bringing awareness to those parts so they stop leaking.
Here’s how to begin:
1. Notice your triggers
Any strong reaction is a breadcrumb.
Ask: What wound is this poking at?
2. Journal without filter
Dump everything on the page—especially fears around change.
Ask: What am I afraid of losing?
3. Talk to your shadow
Imagine the part of you that’s scared is a younger version of you.
What does it need? Reassurance? Safety? Boundaries?
4. Get comfortable with discomfort
Fear loses power when you let it exist without letting it drive.
5. Embrace self-compassion
You’re not broken. You’re evolving.
Ask: How can I support myself instead of judging myself?
This is emotional weight training. Awkward at first. Transformative later.
💡Read this post if you struggle with self-doubt and want to build confidence.
Owning your shadow
“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” — C.S. Lewis
Change is inevitable. Struggling through it isn’t.
When you face your shadow, you stop seeing change as something happening to you and start seeing it as something happening for you.
And this is where growth—real, lasting growth—begins.
A life lived by your rules requires inner clarity, emotional honesty, and the courage to face the parts you once avoided.
Because the more you understand your inner world, the more power you have in shaping your outer one.
So…
Are you ready to meet your shadow?
💡Check out Stoic philosophy anecdotes that inspire mental strength.
🌱 Reader Reflection
What’s one emotion, fear, or old story that keeps resurfacing whenever you go through change—and what might it be trying to tell you?
