Is Falling Behind In Life Always Bad
Written by Michelle Ong | March 29, 2025 | Growth, Wellness, Opinion
Many of us fear falling behind in life, sparking endless comparisons and a race to outshine others just to feel worthy. But is this fear really worth all that energy? In this post, we dive into whether it’s a problem that actually deserves your undivided attention—or just noise you can tune out.
Watching others hit life milestones you haven’t can stir up envy and frustration—whether it’s not getting into the same schools, being single while friends pair off, or struggling to afford a car or house while others seem to thrive.
Social media only makes it worse, bombarding you with highlight reels of everyone’s “perfect” lives. Throw in parental pressure and endless comparisons to people with fancy jobs, and it’s a recipe for stress—and sometimes even depression.
But are these so-called life rules worth chasing? Should we really see ourselves as failures for not ticking every box? In this post, we break down the mindset traps behind these comparisons and explore whether falling behind is really as bleak as it seems—or if it’s just society’s noise we can choose to ignore.
What It Means To Fall Behind
In a world obsessed with instant results, being slow is often seen as a one-way ticket to Lazyville—lacking ambition or even being a failure. Late bloomers usually get the short end of the stick because they need more time to find their groove. When you’re still figuring out who you are but get forced to choose a career path, it’s like picking a destination without a map—you flounder, struggle, and inevitably fall into society’s “you’re behind in life” trap. But is taking your time really such a crime? Let’s unpack that.
Check out this post on the telltale signs of self-sabotage that might be holding you back in life.
Dissecting The Underlying Contributing Factors
Life isn’t a one-size-fits-all race—intellect and maturity levels vary, and they don’t necessarily increase with age or correlate with success by modern society’s definition. Studies show that many high earners, the entrepreneurs, are risk-takers with average smarts, while those with high intellect tend to hit income ceilings in specialized fields like doctors, lawyers, and teachers. Luck plays a big role; research shows that your environment shapes your path. Being born into a wealthy family gives a head start, while someone equally smart but without those privileges faces a steeper climb. But here’s the kicker: plenty of people waste golden opportunities, while others rise from nothing. A persistent spirit is the game-changer. Keep showing up, and you’ll carve out your own path, with a sprinkle of good luck.
Curious why some people handle stress like pros while others crumble? Check out this post for a deeper dive.
The Herd & The Outlier
Society loves conformity—it’s practically baked into our DNA. From legal rules to social conventions, stepping out of line often invites judgment and unsolicited opinions. Historically, outliers faced brutal consequences (burned alive, stoned to death—you name it). Physical punishment is not in vogue now, but we deal with crushing mental stress, rising depression rates, and sometimes tragic outbursts. The herd mentality makes sense for survival, but it’s flawed when we start labeling people as failures for missing arbitrary life milestones. Whether it’s women unfairly judged for being unmarried or anyone who doesn’t fit society’s mold, social stigma is a real and nasty beast.
Life Is Not Always A Simple Straight Line
“What looks like a setback is often a setup for a comeback.”
Conformity became the default during the Industrial Revolution when workers punched in and out like clockwork, fueling a mindset where success was neatly defined: work hard, get good grades, earn a degree, and voilà—life’s sorted. Even relationships were supposed to magically fall into place at the right time. The 10,000-hour rule sold us the idea that mastery was just a matter of effort and patience. But then came the internet age, individualism surged, and outliers started sharing their zig-zag success stories. Suddenly, the cookie-cutter path was exposed as a myth. Growth isn’t always linear, and setbacks are just part of the ride. Falling behind? It’s up to you whether it becomes a pitfall or a plot twist for your comeback story.
Is Being “Slower” Always Bad?
“Life isn’t a race. Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.”
The linear path is still society’s go-to blueprint, but plenty of success stories prove that life doesn’t have to be a straight line. Think Albert Einstein, Vincent Van Gogh, and Marie Curie—none of them sprinted to success. Their journeys were full of twists, turns, and detours before they found their calling. Research backs it up too: taking time to explore different interests (without freaking out about the ticking clock) helps people discover what truly resonates. Rushing to settle on life decisions too early might actually be a fast track to regret instead of success.
Check out this post for some valuable insights on strategies that can help you make smarter life decisions.
A Matter Of Perspective
“Sometimes when you’re in a dark place, you think you’ve been buried, but actually you’ve been planted.” — Christine Caine
Whether you or others think you’re falling behind, it’s all about the perspective of time. Zoom out, and you might see things differently. Think of the tortoise and the hare—the hare had it easy, sprinted ahead, and got cocky, only to let the slow and steady tortoise win. Sometimes, slow and steady really does win the race!
Want to stop stressing over what others think? Check out this post for tips on how to care less about pleasing everyone.
What Is Life Really About?
“Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.” — Roy T. Bennett
You don’t need everyone’s approval—just the people who matter. People act based on their own beliefs, and if they’re all about the ‘normal’ way of life, let them be. It’s not your job to change their mind. Don’t let their judgments hold you back from living your unique life. Sure, outliers get extra scrutiny, but remember: perfection isn’t the goal, and early success doesn’t always equal lasting success. The real key? Don’t give in to fear or pressure. Follow your own path, and don’t waste time worrying about falling behind.
Life isn’t just about the outcome, but about the journey. Discover Zen principles to help cultivate gratitude and inner peace in this post.
Focus On What You Can Control
“Don’t compare your journey with someone else’s. Your path is unique to you.”
Comparison is a never-ending, soul-sucking cycle of negativity. So, why stay stuck in it? Free yourself from those chains – it’s the smart move. There’ll always be someone better and someone worse, so why stress? The only certainties in life are death and taxes. So, stop worrying about falling behind.
“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” — Maya Angelou
Focus on what you can control. If you’re unhappy with your life status, take action on what’s within your power to change, and let go of the rest. Sounds simple, right? But truly living by this requires a hefty dose of self-development, maturity, patience, and humility.
You might want to check out this post to dive into Zen principles that can help boost mindfulness and calmness, grounding you when life throws its challenges your way.
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