Why You Feel Behind in Life and How to Turn It Around
Written by Michelle Ong | March 1, 2025
Feeling behind in life isn’t a failure—it’s a signal that something deeper is asking for your attention.
Ever feel like you’re falling behind in life, especially when you scroll through social media or catch up with your peers?
That nagging voice whispers, ‘Everyone’s doing better than you!’
Throw in some family pressure to ‘get your life together’ and suddenly, self-doubt takes over.
“The greatest obstacle to success is self-doubt.”
A lot of us don’t realise when we’ve slipped into self-sabotaging habits.
They start small—tiny thoughts, tiny behaviours—but eventually, they create a full-blown narrative that convinces us we’re not doing enough.
In this post, we’ll unpack five sneaky ways you might be holding yourself back, and what you can start doing right now to shift things.
1. Arbitrary Milestones
“All of our lifetimes, all of our lives are too unique to copy the path from someone else.” – Master Shi Heng Yi
We’ve all heard some version of the classic life checklist:
Graduate → Get a job → Settle down → Buy a house → Have kids.
But there is no universal timeline.
Your path isn’t late—it’s just yours.
When you’re constantly measuring yourself against social norms or family expectations, you’re playing a game you didn’t even choose.
And the pressure is unnecessary weight.
Letting go of arbitrary milestones frees you up to live in a way that’s intentional, authentic, and aligned with who you actually are.
“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the story you keep telling yourself.” – Jordan Belfort
💡Read my key realizations on becoming a better version of myself every day.
2. Poor Planning Skills
“Failing to plan is planning to fail.” – Alan Lakein
Feeling like you’re drifting? Or like life is just happening to you?
Sometimes the real issue is that you’re moving without direction.
No clarity. No structure. No honest check-in about what you want, what you need, or where you’re heading.
Maybe you:
keep saying yes to everyone else’s priorities
avoid asking for help
overestimate what you can juggle
or don’t take time to think long-term
The result?
Overwhelm → missed opportunities → frustration.
The fix doesn’t require a full personality overhaul.
Start small: get clear on your next steps, map out a rough direction, and reach out when you need guidance.
Tiny but intentional planning can completely change your trajectory.
3. Dissipated Energy
“We often miss opportunity because it’s dressed in overalls and looks like hard work.” – Thomas Edison
You want big results… but your habits don’t match your goals.
When motivation dips, procrastination creeps in. Then resistance. Then avoidance.
Before you know it, you’re daydreaming about success instead of working toward it—and blaming external circumstances for why progress feels impossible.
At its core, this is just mismanaged energy.
The way out:
One small action at a time.
One honest moment of accountability at a time.
One decision to stop waiting and start moving.
You don’t need to be perfect—just willing to begin.
💡Read why we feel lazy and give up easily.
4. Negative Environment
“It’s not what you’re capable of that limits you, it’s what you believe you’re capable of.”
A toxic environment can drain your confidence faster than a dead battery.
If you’re surrounded by people who:
doubt everything
highlight what could go wrong
dismiss your dreams
or make you question your worth
…your growth becomes an uphill climb.
Overthinking, people-pleasing, and constant self-critique become your default mode. That’s not a character flaw—it’s a response to the environment you’re in.
Protect your mental space.
Curate your circle.
Spend time with people who challenge you to rise, not shrink.
💡Read how to care less about what others think and stop people-pleasing.
5. Poor Decision-Making Skills
“The enemy is not outside, it’s within.”
We all make decisions in the moment that we later regret.
But when impulsiveness, people-pleasing, or fear dictate your choices, you end up stuck in loops you don’t want to be in.
Poor decision-making often comes from:
stress
instant gratification
avoiding discomfort
wanting approval
or not trusting yourself
Slow down. Think before reacting. Create a buffer between emotion and action.
And when you make a tough call, reward yourself for choosing growth.
Good decisions come from clarity. And clarity comes from patience.
💡Read how to make smarter life decisions.
Get Back On Track
“Self-sabotage is like a roadblock in your mind. It’s time to get out of your own way.”
You’re not behind.
You’re not doomed.
You’re not “too late.”
You’re simply at a turning point—one that requires honesty, intention, and commitment to doing the work.
Sort out your mission.
Create a strategy.
Put in the reps.
With consistency and courage, you can build momentum faster than you think. Your path is still wide open.
💡More reads: Traits of successful people + hacks to help you thrive.
🌱 Reader Reflection
Take a quiet moment and ask yourself:
“Which of these five patterns am I currently stuck in—and what is one small action I can take this week to shift things?”
Write it down.
Name it.
Act on it.
Tiny shifts create massive turning points.
